family time · Mother's Musings

I chose the crazy

The Impossible: We got out the door without one. single. fight between mom and dad.  It was as if the universe aligned and threw us the most perfect curve ball.  We are usually all grenades and HIIT combat kicks over here when we are trying to leave for a trip.  By the time we are in the car someone is either giving the silent treatment or practicing their “you’re crazy” lecture.  But not this time!  Dad got home early and prepared a Chinese food feast (thank you Trader Joe’s orange chicken and fried rice) while I bathed you cute boys and put each little bum in pajamas.  We loaded up the car and were off to the Outer Banks, NC.

The Best:  You two boys watched a movie while Dad and I talked and listened to you guys giggle every time the little puppy came on the screen.  Thank you portable DVD player.  Let me never forget how amazing you are.

The Sweet:  Laying you cuties in your beds on the floor and in the closet and giving you goodnight kisses.  I love the first few nights of a trip.  Everyone is bright eyed and excited for adventure, and at night time we are all full of memories and tuckered out.

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The Scary:  Our first day on the beach and I am the happiest girl in the world.  Dad and Benny and I are right at the waves.  I decide to take the plunge and run in the water, dunking my head into the waves.  I come up and see little you, my sweet Benny, running after me with that worried and anxious look on your face.  Daddy and I both run for you, but a wave crashes.  You are gone.  Dad is closest and is trying to find you under all the white foam.  It was only a few seconds, but it seemed like forever.  He pulled you up and you were covered in sand and scared.  You cried in my arms, and I held you so close.

The Silly:  “Boston, what are you saying to the ocean?”  “I’m saying ‘get away BUCKY BUTT!!!”  *unstoppable giggles*

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The Cranky:  When you, my Boston boy, decided to make 1 pm the new Hour of the Demon Child.  Hitting, red faced, kicking, screaming, and punching were all fair game as part of this new tradition.

The CRAZY: Losing my temper at a one year old for having sandy hands (at the BEACH) and touching my sandwich with them.  Then losing my temper at a three year old for not wanting to eat the warmish soggy whole wheat turkey (also sand stuffed) sandwich we had prepared for him.  AND THEN losing my temper at Dad for not anticipating my every need at that exact moment when he happened to be trying to help our friend out but apparently should have been checking me into an anger management program.

The Perfect:  When you boys and daddy grilled up all of the chicken for our  Chicken Tikka Masala together in the back yard of the beach house.  He would let you guys bring in the plates of cooked chicken for me to dump in the sauce and then carry the empty plate back.  Your faces were so proud.

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The Frustrating:  Listening to Dad and I bicker about trying to always figure out plans.  Marriage can be hard, you’ll learn that one day.

The Fun:  The waterslide at the pool was so fast and you and I went on it about 80 times, Boston.  Every time we would run out of the pool to go again I would ask you, “Can we go again?!?”  You LOVED me asking your permission, and would laugh and say, “YA!!! We CAN go again, we CAN!”  We all three laughed so hard at Daddy going down the slide.  He sounded just like a little boy, yelling and giggling with excitement.

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Oh my little boys, Dad and I are still so new at this whole parenting thing.  I think about how so many people I have known through life are surprised at how early I decided to be a mom and get married.  I am still in my twenties, a time when a lot of people are able to go to the beach without worrying how many swim diapers they did or didn’t bring.  If I didn’t have you two, I would have read a lot of books on that trip.  I would have gotten fewer weird tan lines from holding Benny all day.  I would not have grown grey hairs trying to make sure I knew where you both were in comparison to the waves.  I would have actually enjoyed my cold Coke instead of just trying to keep it away from your hands.  I would not understand how scary and hilarious the Hour of the Demon Child is. Parenting and being in tune with your spouse on a family trip is exhausting.  I just want you to know it is worth it.  It is worth every little fight, every crying fit, every grain of annoying sand in my otherwise delicious sandwich.  It is CRAZY how much Dad and I love you both.  We will take you on family trips for many years to come.  We will always have the scary, the cranky, the crazy, and the frustrating.  I promise that we will also always have the perfect, the fun, the sweet, the silly, and the impossible.  Stretching our little family by doing things that aren’t as easy as staying home is part of my job as your mom.  I won’t always be sweet or calm, but you two can bond over how crazy I get and the Demon faces I make just like Daddy and I do with you two right now.  You might think going to the pool with your parents is lame one day, but I guarantee you will bust up laughing when you see your dad STILL act like a little boy in the water.  You might wish your friends could come on the trips with us, but you will both think of silly things to yell and joke about and remember them years later just like I’ll remember “bucky butt ocean.”  I did see a lot of other women in their twenties looking very peaceful at the beach.  I just want you to know….If I had to choose peace or you two crazy bums….I would choose you.  Every time.  I would choose the crazy.

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4 thoughts on “I chose the crazy

  1. Thanks for always keeping it real. Sometimes I feel like the only one who has crazy mom and wife moments! I really appreciate the truth in your posts! ❤️

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